- Mortovia: A first glimpse -

Deep in the bowels of Mortovia stands El Torre Centro (The Central Tower), a massive building that stands tall, erect and proud, not unlike the Chairman of Flatuo, providers of gas to the capital, whose headquarters the tower houses.

From afar, it is hard to believe that Tortro, as the masses affectionately call it, is no more than an office building. Its apex reaching high into the clouds, it resembles a huge marble monument, the scale of which is normally reserved for an edifice to commemorate the war dead, or a skyscraper in honour of the living dead - like dictators.

In the distant memory of those now deemed too old for gainful employment (some of whom border on dementia), Flatuo once hired proper telephone operators , the type with manners and courtesy, their 'please's and 'thank you for calling Flatuo, we hope you have a pleasant day using our gas's coming fast and furious. But in an era too long ago to remember, these operators were replaced en masse by ferrets, who delight in being the absolute bane of their customers. These abominations pride themselves in ruining the days of those who phone in, by gleefully despatching them on mery-go-rounds that always land the sorry customer right back where he began.

In truth, the ferrets take no greater delight than in hearing the same voice over the phone twice on the same day. A third time is regarded as admirable, and a fourth time earns you a star. The stars are glittery gold things, all of them wrapped in red tape. The awarding of stars is a rare occurrence in Flatuo; by the third call, the customer would have given up, broken down or jumped off a building. Or given up, broken down, and then jumped off a building.