- Pride and Prevention (and Intervention) : the first draft -

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man must, upon coming of age, embark on a rite of passage, a journey to some faraway place never before charted but which must surely exist, if for no other reason than to fuel the belief, or at least the hopes, so fixed in the minds of those that had come before him, that it does.

Our story today is one of courage and mild defiance, for without temerity on the part of the protagonist in any tale, there could be no courage to speak of. Insofar as the recklessness of youth should be considered an atavism of Neanderthal man, absent careless disregard, we are nought but misguided sheep (in the society, undoubtedly, of others) in the artificial pastures of myopic design.

And it was this careless disregard that led one spritely chap to venture forth in pursuit of the Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow. To add further spice to what would probably be a very straightforward story, our young man had 3 ways of attaining said Pot: his first, and indeed the most convenient, was to stay at Home and hope that the Pot would come to him eventually, thus succumbing to both his inclination for faineance and his associates' entreaties for him to succumb to it. It was, in short, the lazy, easy option. Unknown to him at this point was that had he chosen this path, it was to be more meandering than he had supposed.

His next choice was to leave the city of Home to journey 108 miles northward to the Neighbouring Village, where all the allures of the countryside awaited. It was, he had heard, a picturesque place, where, if the riff-raff were to be believed, the sun always shone and the undulating hills never seemed to end, with moist, glistening grass and lakes of the bluest hue. Oh sure. If he believed all that he was as likely to trust that the Tooth Fairy would come flying in on a pink rhinoceros to his bedside every even' bearing gifts of high religion.

The last location, and perhaps the one which portended most uncertainty, was halfway across the world. It would entail him crossing the Great Lake to encroach upon the Hall of the 1000-kg Royal. A queer character, was this 1000-kg Royal, who seemed to contend himself daily with eating buns and excessive shares and stocks of gold chocolate coins. He also happened to have a knack of sharing with his subjects what could only be described as abysmal humour ("If I was edible, what would be the heaviest food in the world? One Ton Me!"). While regicide did not escape the thoughts of his people, he was mostly received with all the forbearance of civility.
Word had it that in the Hall of the 1000-kg Royal lay a Magic Rock; it was said to be unremarkable and could well have been mistaken for a Normal Rock, had it not been for a magical quality it possessed: it was said that one step on that Rock would bring a person closer to the Pot of Gold.

Which is rather logical, if you think about it rationally, since a well-placed step on anything, if it was pointing in the right direction, would have brought anyone closer to the Pot of Gold. But such level-headed thinking was not common.

For years accustomed to solitary movement, the Young Man was all ready to embark on a voyage of self-discovery when he was waylaid by a lion which, instead of expessing ferocity and brutality as has come to be associated with stories of this kind through the years, appeared rather friendly, and in most instances, even sorrowful. Exceptions were made (Man did not ditch Lion, Lion did not eat Man - fair trade) and the Young Man and Manfred, as the Sad Lion had soon been christened (I may have got the chronology of events mixed up here - it's quite likely that being called Manfred was what led to the Lion being a Sad one in the first place), set off on thier journey.

They had not progressed far before they met with their first rencontre: the tribe of the Bitjiwyners. These were a small people,with a queer habit of finding fault with almost everything that was said or done by anyone but themselves. When the Young Man did finally deal with them, it seemed the effect of necessity rather than of choice - a sacrifice to propriety, not a pleasure to himself. And while these little people were seen off before long, he quickly came to the conclusion that the road ahead would be long and difficult. Particularly, it seemed, if he had the gall to attempt the long trip to the Hall, where he was sure he'd meet with restrictions and road-blocks.

And so he sought solace in song and art.