- Singapore -

~ Explaining the intricate ways of Singapore, part I

Friend A: So what do they make you do in the army?
Me: They ship you out to Princeton and make you study.
Friend A: Ah, so why're you here? What did you do? Did you, like, rape the xxxxxxxxx's wife or something?
Me: Nah, they don't send you here for trivial things like that. For something like that you probably get death. You need to do something much worse to end up here.

~ Explaining the intricate ways of Singapore, part II

Friend B: So do you live in fear in Singapore?
Me: Oh yes, it is a regime based on the fundamental tenets of fear and oppression.
Friend B: No, like, seriously, I mean, I feel much safer doing things like jaywalking back home. But I can imagine I'd be really worried if I jaywalked in Singapore.
Friend C: Huh? But you can jaywalk in Singapore also what..
Me: Yeah, but after you jaywalk you dart to the nearest bomb shelter and hope the snipers stop shooting.