- The recrudescence -

A visitor (or two) arrived unannounced at one of the lecture theatres in a renowned institution for tertiary education in the Clementi region yesterday at noon, causing muted squeals in certain sections of the audience.

Word has it that the mysterious parties had surreptitiously returned to Singapore from an unknown location and had mistakenly wandered into the lecture theatre, with the intention to perpetuate their lavish expenditure since returning, only to find 250 bored faces staring straight back at them. They were, however, identified by members of the crowd and whisked away to separate locations.

One of them was compelled to don an item of clothing which nearly suffocated him (an ancient method of torture, it is thought) by his guardian, as he was joined by yet another threatening-looking native.

He was later coerced into consuming what is widely believed to be a slow-release agent which initiates the atrophy of internal organs, at a cave known as Big O. He was fed 2 plates which contained substances which resembled cake, bathed in a dark liquid.

Nonetheless, he was in some warped, disturbing, twisted way, satisfied and even happy that his return brought such pleasure to his captors. Rescue workers and negotiators fear the Stockholm syndrome might impede his release from captivity. Stay tuned for updates.