- The book of reason -

What if everything you believed was false?
What if all the notions you have come to understand all your life were challenged and fell apart?
What if everything they told you was a lie, what if everything around you was masterfully controlled by someone twisted, the result of some sick joke?

-.................-

Common Pick-up Lines:

"You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world."
"You must be really tired. Because you have been running through my mind the whole night."
"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."
"Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?"
"Help the homeless. Take me home with you."

Absolute Nono Pick-up Lines (Unless you are masochistic and would like to get slapped)

"Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?"
"You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls."
"Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?"
"Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks!"
"(Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened."
"You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!"

- Controversy, my old friend, how I have missed you -

The contents included herewith are by NO means indicative of the editorial team's sentiments. Not all of them, anyway

MEN'S RULES

- Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it.. Don't try to change that
- Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.. Let it be
- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
•Subtle hints do not work!
•Strong hints do not work!
•Obvious hints do not work!
•JUST SAY IT!
- 'Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.. See a doctor
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
- If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
- •You can eiither ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
•Not both
•If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
- Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
- ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you
are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
- If we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really
- Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
–Sex,
–Sport, or
–Cars
- You have enough clothes
- You have too many shoes
- I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.