- delivering on a promise -

The Friday of Week 9 of Michaelmas Term saw Jonny Baby succumb to a moment of indiscretion at the traditional AU Barrel. All right, make that 2.5 hours of indiscretion, followed rather closely by 2 hours of bowl-hugging joy.

8 pints of Snakebite (a vile concoction of Carling and Cranberry Juice) and one of Carling, all downed in quick succession, culminated in JB being far too inebriated to make the Barrel Run*. Or the Barrel Walk. For him, it was pretty much the Barrel Sit-down.

An eyewitness claimed he spotted JB 'falling up the stairs. I didn't think it was possible, but he fell UP the stairs, rather than down them'.

Amid much confusion and chaos, JB somehow found his way up 4 flights of stairs to the Brunch Bowl where he proceeded to display the contents of his gut to all and sundry before he was ushered into a toilet, where he greeted the toilet bowl with open arms.

2 hours later, he was brought home by year one student Andrew Lim. Claims that he may have been raped on the way home are as yet unverified.

*The Barrel Run, for the uninitiated, is a procession of Athletics Union members running semi-sloshed around the school led by a naked first-year rugby player, disrupting lectures and ruining the appetities of all hapless individuals whose misfortune it might be to witness the run while in the process of consuming food. Despite the state of the participants, this is largely a non-violent event, and may (or should) be taken as a social statement against crimes against humanity committed in Iraq and Iran as well as the exploitation of young children in the sex, cotton and toilet-bowl cleaning industries. Word has it that in certain parts of the world, children are even coerced into attending school and sitting for examinations. The horror.